President in Chief, No Doubt

May 3rd, 2011

What do you call a Black man telling a room full of white people what to do? Mr. President.

Image courtesy The White House/Pete Souza

There’s no doubt the planet is a safer place without Osama bin Laden, but there was something profoundly disturbing about the sight of people grinning, cheering and dancing in the streets near where the World Trade Towers once stood and in front of the White House, celebrating his death and chanting “U.S.A! U.S.A!” Don’t Americans view such celebrations by citizens of other countries as barbaric and hold those people in contempt? When will we understand and release the tyranny of multiple standards of behavior?

I found it odd that many of those celebrating were young people who were elementary or junior high school students on September 11, 2001. One wonders if they understand anything more today than they did a decade ago when they felt adult trauma, witnessed devastation, and perhaps felt the world irrevocably shift without comprehending what was happening. If they understood that bin Laden was a symbol of something greater than himself or that one day, it’s doubtful they’d be dancing in the streets to their own version of the Munchkin’s song when Dorothy’s house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East in Oz. Would that it were so easy to get rid of the bad guys. Or create change we can believe in.

It is impossible to deny the intelligence gathering and apparently seamless planning of the military operation that ended in the killing of bin Laden. For one who has long doubted that there really was much intelligence in the intelligence community, it was a pleasant surprise to evidence that the billions of dollars of annual funding is put to at least some good use.

Most of all, though, this was a stunning political and strategic victory for Barak Obama. Irrefutable evidence that he is focused, strategic, and in control: the Commander in Chief. A demonstration for all those who doubt and denigrate Barack Obama’s right and ability to be president, or repeat the false mantra that Democrats are soft on defense, or who have convinced themselves that the good old days were the 8 years we had a cowboy and a fascist running the government, that Barack Obama is – sometimes literally – calling the shots.

On Wednesday, April 27, Obama releases his long form birth certificate after years of racist, irrational allegations thta he is not an American citizen formulated by so-called “Birther’s” driven mad by the reality of a Black man as president of the U.S.A. At the press conference he scolds politicians, right wingers and the media for promulgating the birther frenzy. On Friday, April 29, President Obama gives the go ahead for the mission to get bin Laden. On the night of Saturday, April 30, the President and First Lady attend the White House Correspondents dinner, where he delivers hilarious, scathing remarks somewhere between the finest stand-up comedy and an incredibly elegant verbal beat down, skewering political opponents, prospective presidential candidates, paranoid political conspiracy theorists and, wisely, himself. In the early morning of Monday, May 2 in Pakistan, the assault on bin-Laden’s compound in the Pakistani city of Abbottabad begins. It is over in 40 minutes. At 11:35, on Sunday, May 1, Barack Obama announces the successful operation and that Osama bin Laden is dead.
He is somber, focused, elegant, and, as always, cool. He does not smile, smirk or celebrate. His mind doubtless filled with many other things to be done. Or undone. Even without the shades the President is inscrutable.

Great Links:

Great site, Jack & Jill Politics.

SparetheKids.com is a new web site from a young woman named Stacey Patton, author of the wrenching, passionate, inspiring memoir, That Mean Old Yesterday, about her journey from a childhood of abandonment and abuse to becoming a whole woman. Who better to creat a site focused on challenging Black people and corporal punishment. It’s visually sharp, creative, interactive, and thoughtful. Please check it out.

One of the most important and beautifully written books I’ve read in years is Michelle Alexander’s The New Jim Crow, a devastating look at the impact of mass incarceration on Black men, women, communities and the United States. Check out this brief essay by Alexander and read her book. It will change the way you see everything! How about an assault on the mass incarceration of Black people justified by the specious “War on Drugs” next, Mr. President? Now, that would be cause for dancing in the streets.

A month ago I received an email sent to my web site from Chicago native Latasha R. Battie, who’d just published her first book for children, “My President is Brown Just Like Me!” She generously offered to send me a copy, I read and thoroughly enjoyed it. More important, my grandson’s did as well. Battie’s book is simple, fun and positive, using declarative statements about President Obama – for example, “My President eats vegetables,” “My President was raised by his grandparents,” and “My President Makes Mistakes” – all follwed by, “Just like me.” Battie’s book has an easy rhythm, a great message, and I loved the odd and intriguing illustrations. “My President is Brown Just Like Me!” is available at amazon.com and createspace.com. For more info go to mypresidentisbrown.com.
Hopefully, Battie’s planning a Volume II!

Thanks to all for your comments. Feedback feeds a writer’s soul – and pen. Much appreciated!

Jill Nelson 5/3/11 – The blog with the musical notes!

Wanna’ Be The Old Babe in the Club?

April 26th, 2011

Looking for Your King of Hearts? Image courtesy USPS.com


Maybe it’s all the manufactured hoopla about the upcoming royal wedding. Maybe it’s that after what seemed to be the longest winter ever spring has finally sprung here in the Northeast: green, lush, and fecund. Maybe it’s that in the first three months of 2011 three men I knew between the ages of 49 and 68, all of them single, died suddenly and alone. Whatever the catalyst, something’s got me thinking about women and relationships – or the lack of them. I recently asked my husband if he had any male friends over 40, or any age, who’d said to him, “I’d really like to meet a nice woman and settle down,” words I hear not infrequently from women vis a vis men. My husband didn’t hesitate or ponder my question, he immediately said “No.” My attempts to engage him in further discussion in the hope that he’d overlooked some man in his not insubstantial collection of friends, colleagues and acquaintances, were futile. So were my efforts to get him to explain in terms I could understand, why women and men seem so fundamentally at odds when it comes to relationships. “I don’t know why. Maybe it’s that some men still see themselves as youthful players, pulling young women. They haven’t grown up.” Could be. Hype about cougars aside, it’s still true that as men age they become “distinguished” while women simply get “old.” Men are “substantial” while women are plain old “fat.” Most of all there’s the biological imperative to procreate, and men’s apparently limitless ability to do so. No so for women.

Of course, the flip side is that most of the heterosexual women I know over 35 are interested in meeting a nice man and settling down. Not necessarily getting married. Or living together. Or, if they’ve already had children, don’t want children, or are of a certain age, having children. What they’re looking for is male companionship, intimacy, and commitment. Sometimes it seems those three things are exactly what many men are trying to avoid. For many women, years of going out, serial dating, and the starts and stops of numerous failed relationships are exhausting. Wouldn’t it be sweet to meet an intelligent, hardworking man with a sense of humor, an internal life, and not too much baggage and settle into a relationship that’s stimulating sexually, intellectually and mutually supportive? I don’t know any women who want to be, to paraphrase Chris Rock, the old woman in the club. Why is it that men seem disproportionately comfortable with being single for much of their lives?

Given all the evidence that marriage – and I include marital-like relationships in that – is of greater benefit to men than women, you’d think male interest in commitment would be greater, if only for reasons of self-preservation. I mean, who wouldn’t go after something that makes them healthier, happier, more productive, economically successful and live longer? Maybe the real question is why women pursue commitment when the benefits to us are far less. I have a bunch of women friends who are single and interested in a relationship with a man. They’re not perfect, but to different degrees they’re all smart, attractive, funny, hardworking, have active libido’s, are creative, generous of spirit and flexible. (The few who are inflexible have given up on men and opted to cultivate fulfilling relationships with friends, sex toys, and themselves.)

As we get older, do our expectations of men and relationships change? Where are the like-minded men? How do we meet them? Is online dating a good strategy? Are younger men a viable option? In what ways has being un-partnered changed the way we see ourselves? Our future?Is it possible to enjoy being the old babe at the club? Who’s interested in hooking up with a grown-up Black woman?

Jill Nelson 4/26/11 – The blog with the musical notes!

Real, not Un-Reel

April 19th, 2011

Atlanta's Un-real Housewives Image courtesy BravoTV.com

These days, so-called reality shows proliferate like cockroaches in a funky apartment. Like those nasty insects, they seem impossible to escape. Just when you think you’ve gotten rid of “The Flavor of Love”; “LisaRaye: The Real McCoy”; “New York”; “Charm School”, etc., you’re invaded by a horde of others. “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” – and other cities – “Braxton Family Values”, “What Chilli Wants”, “Love and Hip Hop,” “Sinbad: It’s Just Family”; “Basketball Wives”; the list of televised dysfunctional relationships offered as entertainment is apparently – like those six-legged critters – ever-expanding. And no, the fact that some of these people are middle class or more doesn’t mitigate the stupidity. Or qualify them as “successful role models.”

It says something profoundly disturbing and disheartening that so many of us are addicted to these shows, caught up in the pseudo high siddity airs, backbiting, social climbing, scheming and relentless drama, often starring sparring Black women. Are we seeing ourselves reflected? Is the proliferation of these shows and the non-stop spawning of others like them another example of our society’s willingness to destroy rather than build? Has it gotten so bad that we find entertainment and a strange kind of self-affirmation in watching other people scheme and self-destruct? Has the adage “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” been replaced by the wholly cynical, “For me to succeed, others must fail”?

In a real world in which many feel marginalized and frustrated, it’s no surprise that some people trade “reality shows” for “reality.” I know the feeling. It can seem a lot more palatable and entertaining to watch a bunch of has been’s, never were’s, or wannabe’s make fools of themselves than try and decipher the agendas, mumbo jumbo, lies and pontificating talking heads on the so-called “news.” If an hour of watching the mighty fallen, falling, or making fools of themselves, and vicariously living the lives of the rich, famous, and infamous doesn’t make you feel better – or at least forget both the planet’s and your own troubles for 60 minutes – you can always turn them off. Not so for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan; intervention in Libya; unemployment; the continuing rape of the economy by corporations; the New Confederacy; the ongoing failure of public education; continuing assaults against women and women’s right to choose; mass incarceration; tax holidays for the rich only; on and on and on, fill in the blanks and then some ___________________; ______________________________;__________________________.

How do we move forward from feeling overwhelmed and powerless to influence and change our own lives, the communities in which we live, and the world? Surely zoning out on the drama of Atlanta’s Real Housewives or Toni Braxton or Chilli offer only brief respite? What can we do to remain sane, centered, and engaged in the difficult and important issues in life? I’ve listed a few techniques that work to keep me on higher ground in trying times. Let me know what works for you. Feedback always welcome!

1. Don’t watch so-called reality shows.

2. Watch television very sparingly and selectively. I avoid most news shows, all cop shows, shows about women being stalked/murdered, glorification of war shows, true crime shows. If you must watch, go for well written comedies like “Everybody Hates Chris” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm”.

3. Find web sites that provide news you can use with a minimum of status quo spin, bookmark them, and visit them regularly.
A few I like are Colorlines, Alternet, ProPublica, PolitiFact, and The Root.

4. When frustrated, overwhelmed, angry or stuck, get up and go for a walk. A few blocks or a few miles, being outdoors and in motion is always good for perspective.

5. Read a book. Not a magazine! No more consuming info about celebrities, how to lose 30 pounds in 30 hours, retail therapy, or miracle cures for whatever ails you.

6. Spend time with friends. Build your community of like-minded souls. Take action.

7. Laugh as much as possible!

Jill Nelson 4/19/11 – The blog with the musical notes!

9/4/10: Lunch Menu and The Last Supper

September 9th, 2010

The Last Supper, Soon Devoured!

Saturday lunch
Buckwheat Udon Noodles w/ Spicy Sesame Paste topped with Seared Chicken
Savoy Cabbage & Grilled Pineapple Salad w/ fresh Cucumbers & Ginger Soy Peach Dressing

Saturday Dinner
Rum Cocktails: & Ginger- Sesame oil spiked Black- eyed Pea Paste w/ Assorted crackers

Rice wine & Mustard Grilled Salmon w/ Fresh Herbs
Seven Hour Slow Roasted Ginger Honey Glazed Short Ribs W/ Cracked Pepper Brown Sauce
Roasted Yams w/ Honey Butter
Sauteed Okra Corn & Grape Tomatoes in a simmered White wine Butter
Arugula Salad & Marinated Cubes & Tomatoes w/ Bleu Cheese Citrus Vinaigrette

A Few More Photos from The Retreat

September 9th, 2010

The Graduating Class 9/5/10

The Last Morning of Sunrise Yoga

Chatting with author Holly Nadler on the last night


Writing Together from 5-6 each afternoon

The Penultimate Day of the Retreat

September 4th, 2010

The day dawned bright, clear, and sunny–difficult to believe that ten hours ago we were bracing for an attack from Earl. Earl proved to be not as potent as he imagined himself to be, and really skulked out of here with his tail between his legs. Even though were prepared for Earl, we did not let him deter us from our writing resolve. Yesterday yoga at sunrise, two writing sessions, a massage, and wonderful anecdotes of writing and food from Jessica Harris. Today, yoga, a walk by the now calm Atlantic, writing, a scrumptious lunch that we have come to expect, a walk with Maya in search of Jessica Harris’ house–we eventually found it–and before we knew it we were exactly where we wanted to be: on Circuit Avenue in downtown Oak Bluffs. Maya and I dropped some change at Cousen Rose and C’est la vie, and when we got back it was time to put my tired feet in Gwen’s special care. How thoughtful of Jill to schedule us to have not one but two reflexology sessions with Gwen? I feel looser, I’m learning to meditate, and the discussion and sharing during our writing sessions are leaving me with ideas and suggestions to take my writing to the next level. And right now the smells from Alexander’s cooking wafting into the living room is making my mouth water. So let me distract myself with a quick Scrabble game with Maya and Terria.

Harriet

Day 4: Jessica, Earl and US!

September 4th, 2010

At the head of the table, Jessica Harris listens as Chef Smalls describes the meals

Last night’s dinner guest was food writer Jessica Harris, who brought her book, The Martha’s Vineyard Table; just published Rum Drinks, and read several sections from High on the Hog her forthcoming book. An accomplished raconteur, Jessica told great stories about her life and work, including one about James Baldwin reading sections of “If Beale Street Could Talk” to her.

Conversation was lively and could have gone on longer if the over-hyped Hurricane Earl hadn’t been threatening dangerous winds, torrential rain, and general mayhem and we didn’t ahve to get Jessice home before the action commenced. By the way, it never did, and today, gorgeous, sunny, a few wispy clouds, people are out and about and the merchants are trying to make the most of this last summer weekend, especially since the town made them close Friday at 2PM for No Show Earl. (But all was not lost, Grace Church, whose Friday lobster roll sale cause traffic jams and something akin to food panic, opened three hours early so folks could get their scarf on before the deluge. Bad enough there may be a hurricane coming! Can’t have people deprived of lobster rolls as well! Now that’s the
New England spirit!)

Of course, we who are busy Making the Third Chapter Fabulous had no need to leave the house of the BEST FOOD ON THE ISLAND. Yesterday’s menu soon come in a separate post.

Satiated, most everyone was in bed by 10PM, although I did put on my yellow slicker and take a walk along the ocean to watch the waves breaking over the seawall and drenching the road, feel the wind’s velocity, and basically do what all fabulous women do in a pseudo-hurricane – or any other crisis, real or imagined – which is show no fear, go through it, and experience it’s fabulousness.

YUM! Enough said.

Waiting for Earl…

September 4th, 2010

With Roni DeLuz, 3rd from left Image courtesy Gwen Maristany

This morning began with a great yoga class, after which some took a run, others walked to town or showered, and all eventually ate breakfast. After a sudden, torrential, but brief downpour, during which we scattered to close windows, it was on to the Writing Workshop, which began with my asking for feedback on the retreat thus far. The gist of it? Well, someone suggested and everyone agreed, that we should add a 1 hour group writing session in the afternoon, which was done, starting today.

Then it was on to a lively discussion of how to create a character if you’re writing fiction/what elements are necessary when defining a person when you’re writing non-fiction. Today’s exercise was to begin creating a fictional character by answering 5 very basic questions about them: 1. Name 2. Age 3. Gender 4. Most positive characteristic 5. Most negative characteristic 6. Race. Discussion was lively, and other questions necessary to developing/defining believable characters – birth order, birth year, etc. – were discussed.

Ah, then lunch. Need I say Chef Extraordinaire Brother Alexander Smalls outdid himself again? Seriously, the food is so marvelous, layered with flavor and complex we’ll all surely leave absolutely spoiled, but so what? Menu below, more later.

Lunch:
Potato, Cabbage, Cream Corn & Crab Soup w/ Smoked Paprika
Cucumber, Arugula & Bleu Cheese w/ Balsamic reduction
Roasted Garlic & Herb Citrus Butter Peasant Bread w/ Chili Flakes

Tonight’s dinner guest was Dr. Roni DeLuz, author of the New York Times bestseller, The Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox and founder of the Martha’s Vineyard Holistic Retreat. Roni told us the story of her journey from health crisis to total health over dinner, and made us a delicious healthy berry smoothie for dessert. Her emphasis is on knowing and listening to your own body and eating accordingly and wisely. We’re not talking twigs and no more delicious foods, but balance and understanding.
Dinner:
Low Country Frogmore Stew
consisting of Shrimp, Crab, Squid, Savory Turkey Sausages,
Fresh Corn on the Cob, Baby Lima Beans, Red Potatoes…and Red Cabbage
Tomato Red Onion & Arugula Salad
Blueberry Pie

FYI, tomorrow night our dinner guest is cookbook author Jessica Harris, whose latest, Rum Drinks, was just published. She promises to make us a rum drink, too!

I HEART the Chef!

September 3rd, 2010

What flavor! What presentation! What Bliss!

Sunset in Aquinnah

September 3rd, 2010